Day 30 - Your reflection in the mirror

Dear you,


Flaws. Imperfection. What I often see when I see you in the mirror. 'Who is that girl?' I would sometimes ask. 


But most times you look happy, because in the end I know that those imperfects make you beautiful. They make you, you.


And I wouldn't want to be anything else other than that.


At times I see you and I think how quickly time has changed. I remember being a little girl, and I think of how great it would be to be little again, with no worries; nothing but endless imagination and freedom.


But I am proud, quite proud of what I see in the mirror. And you should be too. 

(30 letters. Concept from Adam Holmes @ Tumblr.) 

Day 29 - The person that you want to tell everything to

Dear Mom and Dad,


I'm afraid of a lot of things in this world. But most of all, I'm afraid of letting you down, of disappointing you and that's why I don't tell you a lot of things. 


But if I could I would. I'm not that strong though. 


Someday, though. Someday...

(30 letters. Concept from Adam Holmes @ Tumblr.) 

Day 28 - Someone that changed your life

Dear you,


This must be the fifth or sixth letter to you. Though things are weird between us right now, I can't lie to myself and say that you've done nothing to change my life. Because you have. You've helped me realise how I don't need someone else to make me happy, you've helped me discover what first love felt like, you have made me see myself, and the world in a whole new perspective. Because of you, I've learned about taking risks and chances. 


How boring life seemed before I met you. I would often wonder when my life would mirror a character in a fictional novels. Their lives seemed so exciting! I felt that. 


We all are characters in a book. A book called life that only God and ourselves and shape for us. 


Anyways. Thanks for coming into my life. I'm glad I met you. You've helped me realise so many things. And I'm grateful.

(30 letters. Concept from Adam Holmes @ Tumblr.) 

Day 27 - The friendliest person you knew for only one day

Dear you, 


It's people like yourself that makes people like me feel happy and gives me hope. 


A single act of kindness is all it takes sometimes to cheer someone up. Doing something nice for something just because you feel like it and you don't even notice. 


You give people like me hope. 


Thank you.

(30 letters. Concept from Adam Holmes @ Tumblr.) 

"These violent delights have violent ends and in their triumph die, like fire and powder, which as they kiss consume." - William Shakespeare; Romeo & Juliet

Mood:excited

"If you end up with a boring, miserable life because you listened to your mom, your dad, your teacher, your priest, or some guy on television telling you how to do your shit, then you deserve it." - Frank Zappa

"And I close my eyes as the curtains draw. I thought I heard your voice but I thought wrong, cause you're not there anymore, no you're not there anymore, and so I lift my chin and the show goes on, the sky is listening, the stars all sing along but you're not there anymore and I just can't care anymore." - Heaven Knows by Rise Against

"Numbing the pain for a while just makes it worse when you finally feel it." - Albus Dumbledore 

"These violent delights have violent ends and in their triumph die, like fire and powder, which as they kiss consume." - William Shakespeare; Romeo & Juliet 

"I am what I am, and I'm not askin' myself any questions. The time you start talkin' to yourself is when you're unhappy, when you wanna change. I don't wanna change. I'm satisfied with what I am." - Francis Albert Sinatra 

"I'm not one of those complicated, mixed-up cats. I'm not lookin' for the secret to life or the answer to life. I just go on from day to day, takin' what comes." - Frank Sinatra

“I can never stand still. I must explore and experiment. I am never satisfied with my work. I resent the limitations of my own imagination.” - Walt Disney

“She said, ‘I’m so afraid.’ And I said, ‘Why?’, and she said, ‘because I’m so profoundly happy, Dr. Rasul. Happiness like this is frightening. They only let you be this happy if they’re preparing to take something from you.’” - The Kite Runner

"She felt empty. She felt like she had been scrounging crumbs off a dirty floor, wanting to believe she was getting a full meal. She felt like she hadn’t truly eaten in many days. She wished she could make her sadness go backward or even forward, to look back on it or postpone it, but it was here and now. How depressing of her to debase herself like that. How sad of her to try and find happiness in so little.” - Ann Brashares




*All of these photos belong to their rightful owners; they were found via Tumblr and none were taken by me. 

Day 26 - The last person you made a pinky promise to

Dear you,


I can't believe I don't remember you, but know this: I promise that I've probably kept it. I mean c'mon. Those things are legit, man.

(30 letters. Concept from Adam Holmes @ Tumblr.) 

What I Am Thankful For...

Mood:happy;thankful

• God, for everything
• my wicked brilliant Azn parents who have to deal with me on a daily basis, always eventually giving me what I want ;), and making me into the person I am today. 
• my friends - the old ones who live states away, new ones that I've made this year, the ones who're more like family than friends; all the memories, laughter, and tears we've shared and created
• my teachers, who stuff information into our brains like people shove stuffing into turkeys
• the people who I don't like, who teach me how I can make myself a better petter. 
• my band family, whom I love and are some of the best people I know
• the roof over my head and the food always on the table
• Zach, for showing me what first love feels like
• music, photography, and writing
• Frank Sinatra
• you, for taking the time out of your own life to read my lil' blog
• and many other things...

-------x

Happy Thanksgiving, world! I feel so happy right now, nothing can bring me down. Funny how the spirit of the holidays can bring your mood up no matter what. And I haven't had a great week at all (in fact, I've been depressed all Monday and Tuesday - I don't know why), but my mood has boosted extremely due the fact that we have a 4 day weekend/Thanksgiving break! It really does make you feel better when you do good deeds and such things like that. I bet philanthropists are the happiest people in the world. 

I am getting 4 Frank Sinatra CDs for my birthday (or Christmas) and the Canon 50mm f/1.8 II lens for Christmas (or my birthday). Either way, I am so deliriously happy from joy! And I just feel like sharing my happiness with everyone! AHHHH! :)

I love my Asian parents. Sure, they can be strict at times but when I look back at everything they've done for me, I've realised that they were always right for doing what they did, even if it seems horrible at the moment. They're trying to make me into a good person by doing what they do. :) And I wouldn't have it any other way. I love my strict-a** Azn parents! ;) I love them for having to deal with me on a daily basis. ;) I mean, I really should be more thankful for them and do more around the house to help me. I feel like such a lazy, selfish and ungrateful child sometimes. But I try, I really do. So yeah, that's about it for now before we go back to my letters, which I have only a few more, so don't worry.

How was your Thanksgiving? And if you don't celebrate, how was your weekend/what are you looking forward to most this Christmas? :)    

Happy Thanksgiving, all! 

Have a great food day.

Day 25 - The person you know that is going through the worst of times

Dear suicidal boy/girl,


I don't personally know you, but I know you are out there somewhere. Maybe you live far away, maybe you go to my school, but either way, know that this letter is to you.


Maybe you're the quiet girl sitting in the back of the room at school, or the boy who acts like nothing is wrong, carrying on with your life with a fake smile always on your face when really, you feel like you're about to break. 


I can't say I've ever felt what you're feeling right now, so I'm not going to lie and say, "I know how you feel," because I don't know and I have no idea what you're going through, but I do know one thing: there is hope. There always is. 


Now, I could go on about how selfish suicide is, about the effect that it could have on your friends and family but that may or may not make a difference. Truth is, when you're suicidal, you just don't care. 


Don't lose faith. Have faith in love, God, and humanity, however messed up it seems at times. There are lots of people out there - strangers - like me, who love you and are willing to help you through. You are never alone. You have us, and God even if it seems like your friends and family don't care or understand (they do, and they try). Put your faith in Him and believe in Him. He will guide you through it all.

(30 letters. Concept from Adam Holmes @ Tumblr.) 

Songs About a Broken Heart

Mood:confused;broken

The Winner Takes It All - ABBA ♥

Everything We Had - The Academy Is ♥

One of Us - ABBA ♥

Chiquitita - ABBA ♥

Losing Grip - Avril Lavigne

Unwated - Avril Lavigne

Forget It - Breaking Benjamin ♥

Sorry for Love (2003 Version) ♥

Time After Time - Cyndi Lauper

Someday You Will Be Loved - Death Cab for Cutie ♥

Wasted Time (Live) - The Eagles ♥

Almost Lover - The Academy Is ♥

I Don’t Wanna Be In Love (Dance Floor Anthem) - Good Charlotte

Too Little Too Late - Jojo

From the Inside - Linkin Park

She Will Be Loved - Maroon 5

I Don’t Love You - My Chemical Romance ♥

Liar Liar - Never Shout Never

30 Days - Never Shout Never

That’s What You Get - Paramore

Eleanor Rigby - The Beatles ♥

Lesson Learned - Alicia Keys feat. John Mayer ♥

Where Do We Go From Here - Alicia Keys

The Thing About Love - Alicia Keys

Nobody Knows - Pink

I Hate This Part - The Pussycat Dolls

Littlest Things- Lily Allen

Fifteen - NeverShoutNever

Nothing Compares 2 U -Shiny Toy Guns

Gives You Hell - All American Rejects

The Difference - Matchbox 20

Day 24 - The person that gave you your favourite memory

Dear best friends,


I shouldn't even have to write anything in this letter. Thanks for always being there for me through thick and thin. I love you guys. You know all the rest. ♥

(30 letters. Concept from Adam Holmes @ Tumblr.) 

Day 23 - The last person you kissed

Dear baby sister, 


Sometimes you get on my nerves and you just annoying me SO much! Sometimes I just really hate it.


But then you smile, and you remind me of how much joy and hope you bring into the lives of everyone you touch. And then I remember how much I love you and how happy you make me when you're not annoying me and you make my heart smile. :)

(30 letters. Concept from Adam Holmes @ Tumblr.) 

Day 22 - Someone you want to give a second chance to

Dear you,


We used to be really close friends in grade school. I don't know what happened. I remember a time when there were no "cliques" or groups; when everyone was friends with everyone. I miss those days. Now we barely even talk. We don't even look at each other in the hallways. I don't know what happened. Middle school changed people. We all ventured towards people in our own likeness. 


But I wish we could all be friends again. 

(30 letters. Concept from Adam Holmes @ Tumblr.) 

Mood:chipper


Through shattered glass
and broken flames
these tears they fall 
from the inside
between dark alleys and 
cold stares,
hiding, hiding, hiding
from the forbidden wrath
of society,
slowly flowing,
these frozen tears,
towards the open sea
where they are finally
free.

Day 21 - Someone you judged by their first impression

Dear you,


Honestly, the first time I saw you, I did not like you. Like, at all. I'm not sure why. Maybe because of the way you carried yourself or the way you dressed. Girly, preppy...


I may have talked about you behind you back, or called you mean things in my head. I'm sorry. That was wrong of me. 


Perhaps I was jealous. (This was in 6th grade, mind you, and I didn't know who I was back then. I was still getting to know who I was myself.) Well, I'm glad to say that we're friends now and you're one of the coolest and nicest person I've ever met. Yep. 

(30 letters. Concept from Adam Holmes @ Tumblr.) 

The Adventures of Candy and Friends...

Mood:afraid


I really had quite a splendid four day weekend. The four day weekend was due to the fact the we had parent-teacher-conferences, and '"professional development day", is what I think it's called.


So why was my weekend so wicked? 


Speaking of wicked brilliantness, guess who went to the midnight premier of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows? This girl! Oh my gosh. It was amazing. Utterly bloody brilliant, as Ron would say. There were three "ahw" moments for me, since I have a sense of never crying at movies... I just go "ahwwwwn." Those moments were:

• At the very beginning, when dear Hermione had to use the obliviate charm to wipe her parents' memories of her as to protect them. (So sad.) :'( 
• When Hedwig died. (Noooo! J.K. Rowling, why? I mean, writing in Hedwig's death was so unnecessary!)
•  Dobby's death

There were also plenty of cute moments too. Like when Harry and Hermione were dancing in the tent. Some people thought it was awkward, but to me it just really showed how close they are to one another. Oh, and near the end when Bellatrix was torturing Hermione and she was screaming and Ron was yelling out her name... (ahww.) 

Ooh, and other scenes I loved:

• The beginning, when Ginny asked Harry to zip up her dress for her, and then George sneaks downstairs and just stares at them while they made out and then after she leaves, gives Harry a look. Tee-hee, that was just too funny. (Ginny's got game!)
• After George got his ear cut off and made that joke and... ahww, I just love the twins so much. I'm going to cry when Fred dies in the second part. :'(  Why?

One final thing though - how come Peter Pettigrew didn't die?!

Anyway, I dressed up as a Gryffindor - my costume was wicked brilliant. ;D 

I went with a group of about 15/16-ish people. 'Twas me and my friends + Zach and his friends. Everyone dressed up. It was a pretty epic group. :)

There was a lady from a wild-life preserve who brought in an actual owl. It was stellar. 

I also went and saw Guys and Dolls at our high school, the 1955 musical featuring Frank Sinatra and Jean Simmons. Our drama department put up a musical. They were fabulous, as well. We have some talented actors and singers. (But of course, none will ever surpass the great Francis Albert Sinatra.) ♥ 

And today, I went to the University of Michican vs. Wisconsin football game - the last game of the season with one of my best friends sisters, and though we lost epically, I took plenty of photos, that turned out pretty well. 

So yeah, that was my weekend. (I have one more day left, but I doubt anything exciting will happen tomorrow. I'll probably be catchin' up on sleep, relaxing and studying.)


So comment. Opinions, etcetera? 



*BTW: Hello to all the new followers! I'm sorry I can't check out your fabulous blogs, though I'm sure they're all amazing. But why don't you introduce yourselves? :) 

Day 20 - The one that broke your heart the hardest

Dear me, 


There are many reasons why you break my heart. But currently, it's because of expecting so much out of people. Relying on someone else for your happiness. We all need to learn how to make ourselves happy. Or maybe I'm worrying too much. Maybe it's nothing.


Yeah, I'm pretty sure this letter makes no sense to you readers. It's supposed to only make sense to me and not you. I'm sorry. Sometimes I don't feel like pouring my heart and soul out to you guys, you know? I hope you guys expect that. I love you all anyway. You're all beautiful people.

(30 letters. Concept from Adam Holmes @ Tumblr.) 

Day 19 - Someone that pesters your mind - good or mad

Dear you, 


I think I've written about, 3 or 4 letters addressed to you in this 30 letters concept already. There's not much else that I can write that I haven't already. (Actually, there's a lot of things in my heart that I want you to know, but I don't have the words to express them.)


So this letter is supposed to be to someone that pesters my mind. Thing is, you're always on my mind. You've always been, ever since we started talking 4 months ago. You somehow claim the same thing about me, though sometimes I feel like maybe... you're on my mind more that you should be? I know you're not lying. Perhaps I am always on your mind... and even though you make me so happy, sometimes you confuse me so. Like maybe, you're lying to yourself?  Or you're scared or nervous? I'm not sure, but all I know is that sometimes my heart aches, thinking about whether you really do feel the same way about me the way I feel about you. 


I don't want to set myself up for disappointment.


Maybe I love you more than you love me. 


Yes, I said it. I love you. I haven't said this to you before, and if I wasn't sure you weren't reading this or actually receiving this, I would never ever say it, scared of what you'd say. 


So yeah. This is my letter to you.

(30 letters. Concept from Adam Holmes @ Tumblr.) 

Day 18 - The person you wish you could be

Dear you,


I'd like to be able to say you exist. But more likely than not, you don't. You're the perfect child. Someone who is selfless and happy. Someone who will forget their own troubles to help that other person whose troubles are worse than yours. Someone who will donate a kidney for you and travel 1230945 miles across the ocean just to listen to you. 
The perfect student who cares about politics and is in a million school clubs and sports. 
The perfect child who agrees with everything their parents say and does a million things. 
One who volunteers and does charity for fun...


Someone who doesn't care what other people think of her.


But I'm not that person. Maybe someday I'll be that person. So close tho that person. But right now, I'm just lil' ol me. And I'm happy.

(30 letters. Concept from Adam Holmes @ Tumblr.) 

Day 17 - Someone from your childhood

Dear you,


I don't exactly remember your name. But thank you for being one of my first friends, like, ever. It's nice to know I wasn't strange enough to not many any friends. ;] 


You're halfway across the world still, probably striving to do your best. I don't know if you remember me or not, I remember you being in my pre-school class. 


We had a lot of fun. Those were the good ol' days. I wish I was little again.

(30 letters. Concept from Adam Holmes @ Tumblr.) 

Day 16 - Someone that's not in your state/country

Dear everyone,


I miss you guys. It has been two years since I've been back. I hope everyone's doing swell.


Don't worry about us at all. I'm doing amazing and oh-so happy, SOphia is growing up beautifully every single day - and mom and dad are great as well. I really wish you guys could come over here to visit us, but I know how complicated the whole process is. 


We'll be back to visit soon. 


I love you all. 

(30 letters. Concept from Adam Holmes @ Tumblr.) 

Day 15 - The Person You Miss the Most

Dear You,


I can't lie. It's sort of... ridiculous how easily I miss you. And to think, I only saw you two days ago. But  hey, what can you do?


I really want to see and hang out with you again.  <3 
It saddens me that we don't have any classes  together.


Thing is, though, you're not much of a risk taker are ya', boy? I hope you come around soon. Because you make me so happy. ^_^

(30 letters. Concept from Adam Holmes @ Tumblr.) 

Day 14 - Someone You've Drifted Away From

Dear You,

You're one of my best friends, but sometimes it feels like we're drifting apart. I mean, it may have to do with the fact that we don't have any classes together this year or anything but I mean, we live just 2 blocks down from one another and we see each other every morning at school. I don't know. I hope we're not drifting apart, that it's only because of your broken phone. I miss you, BFF! I wish we could talk more and hang out more.

(30 letters. Concept from Adam Holmes @ Tumblr.) 

Day 13 - Someone You Wish Could Forgive You

Dear people that I've hurt,


I'm sorry for whatever I have done to hurt you, to cause you pain. I'm not sure who I've ever hurt in all my life so I'm not sure who exactly you are. I try the best that I can to be kind and courteous to everyone, because you never know what they're going through.


I don't know how many people I've hurt, how many people's pillows became wet because of me. How many hearts I've broken. I hope none, but none of us are perfect.


I'm sorry to everyone who I've hurt. 


Let's start over.


Forgive me.

(30 letters. Concept from Adam Holmes @ Tumblr.) 

Day 12 - The Person You Hate Most

Dear sadists of the world,

Why? Why do you insist on hurting others? Do you get off on seeing others suffer and wither in pain? Does it make you happy when you hear the cry of a mother losing her only son? Or see the tears of a little girl pouring out of her heart because her mother was killed on the streets?


It's sad. What has life done to you to make you into a monster like that?


What do you see when you look in the mirror?


a monster. 
monstermonstermonstermonster.


Do you have so much pain inside you that you would rather vent through hurting other people? You live a sad life. And I feel sorry for you.


I don't know what else to say.

(30 letters. Concept from Adam Holmes @ Tumblr.) 

06 days, 07 hours, and 4 minutes... ϟ

Mood:hungry


I just noticed that I haven't posted a personal post in awhile with the whole 30 letters concept everyday. I just don't want to bombard you with a whole bunch of posts, but I thought this was mandatory. 


7 DAYS, & 7 HOURS UNTIL HARRY POTTER 7! 
(Ooh, look at that: 7, 7, 7! Tee-hee. ^^)


I am so pumped! My friends and I ordered our tickets like, 3 weeks in advance! Me and my best friends + Zach and his friends are all going to the premier together as a whole group. Some of them are even dressing up as characters! I, on the other hand, (though I desperately want to) are certainly too cheap to buy a costume (I looked them up and they were like, $30. For real. I mean I love Harry to death, buuuut...ehhhh.) 

In other news, I got a 96%/A+ on my Geometry quiz today. Take that, proofs! And I'm pretty sure I aced my History test too. So hah! My grade is pretty steady right now, at a perfect 4.0GPA. (Not to brag or anything.) It's hard work being an overachieving Asian. ;) 

And my mommy and daddy said they'd get me the 50mm f/1.8 lens for Christmas! Yay! :D

My birthday is in a little over a month. December 16th. I'll be turning fifteen. I really want a Rise Against and Frank Sinatra poster. 

I'm hungry, so I'm going to go eat now. But here are some wicked pictures for you to enjoy. (The pictures below are not mine; they were found on Tumblr and all rights belong to their rightful owners.) 

(I want that shirt.)

(and these too!)

(and if I ever get a tattoo, I want a dandelion one...)

(and I want to be in a coffee shop in Paris right now, drinking coffee and listening to Sinatra.)

Have a great weekend, all!

Day 11 - A deceased person you wish you could talk to

Dear Mr. Frank Sinatra,


Some people think me weird for listening to your music. For listening to music from the fifties, though truth is, they're the crazy ones! You weren't just a singer. You were an artist, a friend, an inspiration, a lover... a pure genius. 


I'm currently reading a biography on you and I'm learning so many things about you that I didn't know before. For example, you were selfless and kind and generous and funny and loving and you had swagger. ;) The fact that you kept on continuing to help your friends in the early fifties when you had nothing left except for spare change and a broken heart, and you kept on being selfless, donating so much money to people and organisations... anonymously even, and... I can just go on about how amazing you are. 


I love you, and the fact that your birthday is 4 days before mine. I wish you were still alive.


And here I am going on and on like I know you.


I hope my readers don't fancy me a creeper... (O_o)


I'm not. You're just a huge motivation in my life. You're hope. Hope that there's something else out there other than the same ol' crap that plays on the radio. 


I want to share your brilliantness with the whole world. :]


Dear Ol' Blue Eyes, leader of the Rat Pack, there just isn't anyone else out there like you. 


Love

(30 letters. Concept from Adam Holmes @ Tumblr.)