Thursday, December 31, 2009

Once Upon a Year.


In 2009 I...
[ ] Dumped someone
[ ] Was dumped by someone
[ ] Dyed my hair
[ ] Failed a class
[ ] Fell in love
[ ] Had love at first sight
[ ] Had more than one boyfriend/ girlfriend
[ ] Snuck out of my house
[x] Stayed up all night
[ ] Cried because I missed someone
[ ] Had detention(s) (I can't remember a single one!)
[ ] Missed curfew
[ ] Kissed someone who I regret kissing
[x] Danced crazily with my friends all night
[x] Gained confidence
[ ] Lost a friend
[x] Gained new friends
[ ] Changed my look

In 2010 I want to...
[x] Be more outgoing
[ ] Get better grades
[x] Care less about how I look
[ ] Care more about how I look
[x] Be crazier
[ ] Get a new bf/ gf
[ ] Stay with the bf/ gf I have right now
[x] Keep my resolution
[x] To be more of myself around people

In 2009, my age was: 13 > 14

A word to describe 2009: Fine

In 2010 I will be turning: 15 (Holy f**k that's old!)

Something I want to happen in 2010: Something magical. [;

Something I don't want to happen in 2010: Become sad or depressed

My theme song to 2009 would be: Hmm, not sure.

My favorite colour in 2009: All the colours of the rainbow. ('Tis true.)

My best friends in 2009: October, Tori, Nessa, & Emily

Honestly, will you miss 2009: I don't think I'll really miss 2009. One thing I remember was that I felt sad and depressed lots of times. So, honestly, no, not really.

*Stole from Ebony.

“A new year is unfolding – like a blossom with petals curled tightly concealing the beauty within...” - Anonymous

It's that time of the year where everyone around the world is writing out their resolution for the new year. Less than half will actually remember their resolution. So you ask, what's mine? I guess it's my job to make a list and blog it out for you (and perhaps trick you into thinking that I'll actually remember it this year?) Nonetheless - I have no choice so therefore, here is my humble list of crap I'm going to (accidentally-on-purpose forget) to do this year.

  1. Finish Hope Is the Things with Feathers (the novel I've been working on for forever!) I really have been working on this book for forever. Started it at the end of 5th grade and has been humbly working on it ever since. This went on my resolution every year and I hope it will be the last time that it's going on any list (except maybe the New York Times Bestseller the very distant future...maybe?)
  2. Be more social. This is on my list because frankly, I'm a pretty antisocial person. The thing is, when I'm around my friends I'm (believe me) MORE than just crazy. I'm eccentr!k, loud, carefree, weird, and the biggest klutz ever. (Actually, I'm a klutz no matter who I'm around but...) Around new people I'm just not very open like some people immediately are. I have to warm up a bit. I'm not shy, although some people probably think I am. I'm just not a people person and not a very good conversationalist to tell you the truth. So yeah, I need to work on that. [:
  3. Be more kind and courteous toward others. 'Nuff said.
  4. Be more selfless. Looking back, I guess I've been sort of selfish this year. I was getting too hyped up that I didn't really go into consideration for my parents and whatnot. This year, I want to do things for other people and make them feel happy also. ^__^
  5. Put others before oneself.
  6. Learn at least 10 new things. Ten new things for 2010.
  7. Be a better daughter, sister, and friend. 'Nuff said, right?
  8. "To thine own self be true." - Shakespeare. I really shouldn't be going around quoting Shakespeare but in this matter I feel that it's necessary. This year I wasn't really sure who I was. I mean, yeah, I was still me. But I wasn't (Does that make sense?) Anyway, my point is - don't just go around following what's "cool" at the moment; don't go around following the latest fad. Be yourself. Do your own thing; NOT what you see in the fashion mags or what's in for the first 5 minutes or so. Dress in your own style. Just be true to yourself.
  9. Less talking, more doing. I think perhaps I've been doing more talking than actually doing. "I'm going to do blah blah blah.." So - less talking & more getting things done.
  10. LESS PROCRASTINATING! Wow. I think I should get a PHD in procrastinating because I procrastinate everything. Even the little things. You name it. This year I'm going to do a little less of that. But just a little. *wink*
  11. Be more active and less lazy. Yeahhhh about that....
Now that we're done with all my ramblings, I have to tell you what I bought at the mall today. Sorry I don't have any pictures; I'll try to go into much detail as possible (which is very little because I'm very lazy right now...) SO, anyway, today I bought:
  • black leggings from Wet Seal $7.90
  • very cute dark pink sweater that was on sale [JcPenny] $14.99
  • a cute hot pink Southpole shirt *also on sale [JcPenny] $5.99
  • WICKED Airwalk shoes with parts that even glow (OMGZ!) from [Payless] Only $8, holy f***!
Yeah, so those weren't very descriptive but I'll be posting some pics (as soon as I can find my camera... hmm, it's here somewhere... I think.) Ahh, I ♥ the mall. Don't you? Yeah enough of my ramblings. I'm sure you have somewhere to go. (To the TV, possibly, to watch the New Years countdown?) I'll leave you to that.

Once again, happy new years! Goodbye 2009; not sure if I'll miss you or not!


P.S. What do you think of the new layout + header? Thought I'd start off the new year with a new look. Well, at least Blog-wise. [:

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Into The Wild Nerd Yonder.

I have been way too lazy that I haven't even bothered to tell you about what I got for Christmas. Winter Break is slowly fading away and soon, it will be back to school for me. Sigh. I am seriously going to miss sleeping in (mostly until eleven, and if I'm feeling super lazy, noon.) I know, I know, I am a very lazy person. Well...just a very sleep-lacking child. Once break is over, it's getting up at 6.00AM once again. Whoop. Anyway, I'm straying off topic. (Gosh, I love straying off topic.)

It was a very simple Christmas for me; just my mum, dad, and Sophia (for the new readers - Sophia is my two and a half year old baby sister). The reason it was that way is because the rest of my family is halfway around the world. Straying off topic again, are ya', Candy? I got MONEY for Christmas because I didn't really know what I wanted. This way, I can just buy whatever I want. And so far, I have bought the leather bound Barne's and Nobel edition of Grimm's Complete Fairy Tales. I know. You don't have to tell me. I know I'm a dork. [:
But I also bought a cute shirt and some accessories. And I also want to buy these really rad (rad?) pair of Vans Hi-Tops from Journey's. (They have checkers on the outside and it's hot pink on the inside.) Grins.

I've been making a 2010 resolution. I'm going to post it up soon ("soon" meaning when I'm not too lazy), although I'm probably never even going to do half on that's the list.

Random book suggestion: Into The Wild Nerd Yonder by Julie Halpern. "It's really good. You should read it."

Anyway, I feel that I can pretty much tell you guys anything (which is weird, because I don't even know the majority of you guys, so go figure) and I am so grateful for all of you, my loyal readers and the 2000 view that I've gotten. Thank you so much. You guys are awesome. And I'm not just saying that.

Happy holidays everyone,

Sunday, December 27, 2009

An Awfully Big Adventure.

Sometimes I feel-
so alone.
So apart from the world.
Sometimes I feel like
no one
gets me.
And there's nothing that
I can do.
Sometimes I do cry
and the tears evaporate
until they become tiny
particles in the air.
Flying up toward the heavens.
And I wish,
I wish
I can fly like that.
Up towards the sky
like a bird
so I can just
get away
from everything
and everyone.
just fly.

Sunday, December 20, 2009

Can you hear it?

"Can you hear it? The music is everywhere... in the wind, in the air... It's never hiding. It's never silent. It's always there." - August Rush; [2007 Warner Bros. Pictures]
"Do you know what music is? It's God's little reminder that there's something else besides us in this universe." - August Rush; [2007 Warner Bros. Pictures]
[photos via. deviantART]

and now it's gone.

Photo ©2006-2009 ~ChokedExpression (via. deviantART)

I loved you once,
I loved you twice.
Now our love is gone.
And what was the price?

Friday, December 18, 2009

This Christmas...

My mom owns a little shop at a weekend market. She sells hair accessories, jewelry, rings, & lots of shiny stuff. Tomorrow I am going to the market to help her friend who also owns a shop there & I have the chance to earn $100 this weekend. I guess I'm pretty lucky that I have the chance to earn my own money and stuff. All I have to do is help the lady sell stuff and watch her things - now that Christmas is drawing so near. It's going to be pretty busy at the market (Gibralter).

I really wanted to sleep in this weekend but that's not happening now. But for $100 it is worth it. People keep asking me what I'm doing for the holidays. I'm not sure yet. Just chill. But I wonder if I have to babysit Sophia too? That would suck. Well...

OK, today in school since it was the last day before Winter Break, we cut snowflakes in Algebra, created Snow-people in Science, Did riddles & scavenger hunts in Language Art and pretty much talked in Social Studies. Then we had to watch this movie called The Princess Bride during SSR. Why would you even buy that movie? It was horrible; I almost died. HORRIBLE! Then we had to watch an old musical called The Music Man in band; it was pretty much torture. They couldn't go 5 minutes without singing? Really? Get it right - the only musicals I like are Broadway musicals.

For my birthday I got iTunes gift cards and $100 from my parents. I still can't believe I'm 14. I don't really feel any different... hmm, maybe age really is just a number.

I need music suggestions from YOU guys now! Would should I buy with $25 of iTunes gift cards? I only have $18.76 left because I already bought some songs...

In other news:
Getting ready for a lonngggggggg day tomorrow (at the market). Have to get up at 10 tomorrow and going home at 10. Then 10am - 8pm on Sunday. There's nothing to do at home, really, so I might as well go and earn some cash. (;

For comments:
  • Tell me what you are doing for the Holidays; otherwise, leave the most random comment you can think of!


Happy Holidays,

P.S. Check out my Youtube channel; I have some videos of me playing the flute and piano (although I'm not really good). For the link to my channel, go to the sidebar. Leave a comment there or something.

What's on your Christmas list?

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

So, uh...

Once upon a time, a girl was born. It was December 16th, about 4:30am. & Tomorrow, that very girl is turning fourteen...

So yeah, tomorrow is my birthday. I'm excited, but not uber excited because it's just 14. A number. I know I'm not going to feel any different. But it's my day. And I'm most definitely going to be in a good mood tomorrow. I told my mom that I didn't want a party this year because I've had pretty big parties every year. And this year, I just want to chill, you know? There's something I like about 14. It's like, 13 you're a teen, but a young, inexperienced teen, you know? And 14 is like, you're almost an older teen. Which brings us to another thing...

"I'm getting old!"

Hahahaha. Most people would just make a list for their birthday, but I say - "Just give me the money!" Hehe. ☻ That way, I can just buy whatever I want. I'm going to be at home chillin, eating cake with my family and two of my best friends. (Well actually, they're more like family.)

I'll probably blog again tomorrow. (:

Can you believe it's almost Christmas?

P.S. Scroll down to the bottom of the page to listen to some pretty cool music; recent bands/songs that I'm obsessed with. I couldn't get Mixpod or My Flash Fetish to work, so it's on playlist and it won't fit onto the sidebar, but I hope you'll still listen to the music on my page. If you ever need music suggestions - you know who to come to. Check it out, cause I know that you all love my music taste. (;

P.P.S. At the top of the sidebar, I added "[Just Discover] & Listen To..." Every week I'll be posting a song (or band/artist) that I think you should all check out. My music taste can never go wrong. *wink wink*

Saturday, December 12, 2009

In This World We Hide.

Here is an Unity Quote that we have all known since school:
“United we stand; divided we fall” - Aesop

Peace is not merely a distant goal that we seek, but a means by which we arrive at that goal.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent.
- Isaac Asimov

War would end if the dead could return.
- Stanley Baldwin

Follow, follow, follow...

Friday, December 11, 2009


I should have known it would be an odd day because I almost missed the bus this morning. Actually, nothing fickle happened really, so don't be expecting some kind of story. This morning though, in homebase, this girl practically jumped up out of her seat and cried, "Oh my god, I broke a nail!" The next thing she did was run to the front of the room to show her friends. That's when the boys started staring blankly and snickering. That was when me and my friend October started laughing and snickering, trying to hold back our laughter

"Really? Are you serious?" was what I whispered to myself - looking up from the math worksheet. "Oh I am so going to laugh about this later," I shook my head while October agreed with me, laughing & distracting us from our work. It amused us that these things actually happen.

"She broke half of it off!" the girl's friend jumped up and shot out. The girl whose oh-so precious nail broke almost started crying because her face was red. And believe me, I am not exaggerating. It all happened. It's true.

I didn't think girls like that existed. But I was apparently wrong.

Strangely, today didn't feel like a Friday at all. It was just one of those days. Those blahhhh days. You know what I'm saying?

It has been cold here lately, even for _______. Last year was the coldest, I think, but this year has felt even colder.

Right now, though - I am really hungry. So I am going to go eat, and then I'll come back and talk to you guys later.

Love always,

P.S. I had to take off my music player because Mixpod/My Flash Fetish are not supporting mp3 songs anymore unless you upload them yourself. So that's sucky. But I will try to find a way. I know how you all love my music. Wink.

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

It must be...


Winter is here early,
as always.
It snowed last night,
freezing rained this morning,
and now the wind is
coming from the South West
starting at 35 mph to 49 mph
so says

It has been like this the
whole day.
During school I thought,
that we would have a blackout
or something like that.
Because the wind was
making the lights
flicker, on and off,
on and off...

Yesterday was awesome.
It must have been the snow that
cheered me up.
But today - I'm not really that well.
I feel sort of sad.
And I don't know why.

It must be the weather.
Or PMS or something.
But I feel really sad;
That's such a weird word.

I don't want to think about
anything right now.

Life is so boring
if something doesn't happen
soon - I'll explode.

Why do I feel so sad?
...Must be the weather.
I hope.

photo (c) by anonymous

Monday, December 7, 2009

Lonely and Cold

Today was the first
snowfall of the season;
it fell with such grace,
lightly, gently.

I was in Social Studies,
2nd hour.
Boring myself whilst
looking out the window-
I spied tiny flakes of
Mother Earth's frozen tears.

How bluntly I sat there
in my desk,
tuning out Mr. _____'s words,
watching the snow fall.

There's something magical
about Winter;
something lonely and cold.

The snow didn't stick.
I'm surprised that
the snow didn't come sooner,
considering where I live.
Winters are long and cold
here in _______, and Summers
are warm and short.

I'm reading a book named
GO ASK ALICE by Anonymous.
It's an actual diary of a 15-year-old
drug user.
It's really deep & complex;
and it's really made me think about
the generation we have today and
how lucky I am.
How you and I are; sitting here.
Not getting high or abusing drugs.
You should read it.
Like I said, it's really deep.

Thank goodness for books.
I love books.
I wouldn't know what to do

11 days.
Until my 14th birthday:
not sure what I'm going to do
I don't want to grow up.
I want to stay a child forever...
but I can't.

Okay - I have to go.
My mom is starting to nag me.
Why do moms always nag?
I guess it's their thing.

Until later.
See ya.

photo via. deviantART------

Sunday, December 6, 2009

The Raven

Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered weak and weary,
Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore,
While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping,
As of some one gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door.
`'Tis some visitor,' I muttered, `tapping at my chamber door -
Only this, and nothing more.'

Ah, distinctly I remember it was in the bleak December,
And each separate dying ember wrought its ghost upon the floor.
Eagerly I wished the morrow; - vainly I had sought to borrow
From my books surcease of sorrow - sorrow for the lost Lenore -
For the rare and radiant maiden whom the angels named Lenore -
Nameless here for evermore.

And the silken sad uncertain rustling of each purple curtain
Thrilled me - filled me with fantastic terrors never felt before;
So that now, to still the beating of my heart, I stood repeating
`'Tis some visitor entreating entrance at my chamber door -
Some late visitor entreating entrance at my chamber door; -
This it is, and nothing more,'

Presently my soul grew stronger; hesitating then no longer,
`Sir,' said I, `or Madam, truly your forgiveness I implore;
But the fact is I was napping, and so gently you came rapping,
And so faintly you came tapping, tapping at my chamber door,
That I scarce was sure I heard you' - here I opened wide the door; -
Darkness there, and nothing more.

Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there wondering, fearing,
Doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before
But the silence was unbroken, and the darkness gave no token,
And the only word there spoken was the whispered word, `Lenore!'
This I whispered, and an echo murmured back the word, `Lenore!'
Merely this and nothing more.

Back into the chamber turning, all my soul within me burning,
Soon again I heard a tapping somewhat louder than before.
`Surely,' said I, `surely that is something at my window lattice;
Let me see then, what thereat is, and this mystery explore -
Let my heart be still a moment and this mystery explore; -
'Tis the wind and nothing more!'

Open here I flung the shutter, when, with many a flirt and flutter,
In there stepped a stately raven of the saintly days of yore.
Not the least obeisance made he; not a minute stopped or stayed he;
But, with mien of lord or lady, perched above my chamber door -
Perched upon a bust of Pallas just above my chamber door -
Perched, and sat, and nothing more.

Then this ebony bird beguiling my sad fancy into smiling,
By the grave and stern decorum of the countenance it wore,
`Though thy crest be shorn and shaven, thou,' I said, `art sure no craven.
Ghastly grim and ancient raven wandering from the nightly shore -
Tell me what thy lordly name is on the Night's Plutonian shore!'
Quoth the raven, `Nevermore.'

Much I marvelled this ungainly fowl to hear discourse so plainly,
Though its answer little meaning - little relevancy bore;
For we cannot help agreeing that no living human being
Ever yet was blessed with seeing bird above his chamber door -
Bird or beast above the sculptured bust above his chamber door,
With such name as `Nevermore.'

But the raven, sitting lonely on the placid bust, spoke only,
That one word, as if his soul in that one word he did outpour.
Nothing further then he uttered - not a feather then he fluttered -
Till I scarcely more than muttered `Other friends have flown before -
On the morrow he will leave me, as my hopes have flown before.'
Then the bird said, `Nevermore.'

Startled at the stillness broken by reply so aptly spoken,
`Doubtless,' said I, `what it utters is its only stock and store,
Caught from some unhappy master whom unmerciful disaster
Followed fast and followed faster till his songs one burden bore -
Till the dirges of his hope that melancholy burden bore
Of "Never-nevermore."'

But the raven still beguiling all my sad soul into smiling,
Straight I wheeled a cushioned seat in front of bird and bust and door;
Then, upon the velvet sinking, I betook myself to linking
Fancy unto fancy, thinking what this ominous bird of yore -
What this grim, ungainly, ghastly, gaunt, and ominous bird of yore
Meant in croaking `Nevermore.'

This I sat engaged in guessing, but no syllable expressing
To the fowl whose fiery eyes now burned into my bosom's core;
This and more I sat divining, with my head at ease reclining
On the cushion's velvet lining that the lamp-light gloated o'er,
But whose velvet violet lining with the lamp-light gloating o'er,
She shall press, ah, nevermore!

Then, methought, the air grew denser, perfumed from an unseen censer
Swung by Seraphim whose foot-falls tinkled on the tufted floor.
`Wretch,' I cried, `thy God hath lent thee - by these angels he has sent thee
Respite - respite and nepenthe from thy memories of Lenore!
Quaff, oh quaff this kind nepenthe, and forget this lost Lenore!'
Quoth the raven, `Nevermore.'

`Prophet!' said I, `thing of evil! - prophet still, if bird or devil! -
Whether tempter sent, or whether tempest tossed thee here ashore,
Desolate yet all undaunted, on this desert land enchanted -
On this home by horror haunted - tell me truly, I implore -
Is there -
is there balm in Gilead? - tell me - tell me, I implore!'
Quoth the raven, `Nevermore.'

`Prophet!' said I, `thing of evil! - prophet still, if bird or devil!
By that Heaven that bends above us - by that God we both adore -
Tell this soul with sorrow laden if, within the distant Aidenn,
It shall clasp a sainted maiden whom the angels named Lenore -
Clasp a rare and radiant maiden, whom the angels named Lenore?'
Quoth the raven, `Nevermore.'

`Be that word our sign of parting, bird or fiend!' I shrieked upstarting -
`Get thee back into the tempest and the Night's Plutonian shore!
Leave no black plume as a token of that lie thy soul hath spoken!
Leave my loneliness unbroken! - quit the bust above my door!
Take thy beak from out my heart, and take thy form from off my door!'
Quoth the raven, `Nevermore.'

And the raven, never flitting, still is sitting, still is sitting
On the pallid bust of Pallas just above my chamber door;
And his eyes have all the seeming of a demon's that is dreaming,
And the lamp-light o'er him streaming throws his shadow on the floor;
And my soul from out that shadow that lies floating on the floor
Shall be lifted - nevermore!

[Poem "The Raven" © by Edgar Allen Poe]

Thursday, December 3, 2009

The Dying of the Light

Once upon a time,
you were my candle.
You were my light.
Now the light's fading away-
away, away, away,
but we ignore it.
Watching as the last shadows
immerse us in a hopeless
heap of blood.
And now, it is gone.
Gone, gone, gone...

Poem © 2009 by Candice Audrey Anderson. All rights reserved.
Photo by BaselMahmoud via. deviantART

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