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Friday, January 28, 2011

The Thing About Family + Other Things

Mood:happy

So I just got back from pep band and it was super-de-duper fun. Okay, I'll admitt that our football and basketball teams are - horrible, but our band's the best in the district, maybe one of the best in the state. These 120 band geeks are my family. We are crazy, unique and not afraid to be original. And the best thing is that we're not a stereotypical band. There are no "cliques" or "groups". We all hang outside of band, and different cliques bond together to form something more important all the stupid drama in high school - pride for our school and our (awesome) band. We lost by 12 points. Even so, that's not the point. The point is that I had fun with my friends and band family.

Tomorrow I'm going skating with some of my besties. Then after that, me, Tori and Skye are going to a college women's gymnastics meet. (My dad's the men's gymnastic coach of that said college.) It's going to be a fun day, and I need this weekend to just relax and have some fun after a week of exams. I told myself that I wouldn't stess out about grades this semester and I'm not going to. It's not something I should stress about. 

Wintertime is great for nature photography, but not so much for portrait. It would be nice if I had a tripod. Maybe I'll save up for a tripod soon. I need to do more self-portraits and portraits.

There's still not much to talk about. That's it for now. Look forward to a poem or prose written by me soon! :)

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

a promise made.

Mood:content

I haven't written a personal post in awhile, it seems. Actually, most the posts from last week and week have been queued and set to be published at a certain time, so even though I couldn't post live, you guys would still be able to get posts that were pre-written by me.

Still, nothing exciting has been happening to me. Nothing at all. I did well on my midterms, and I think I ended the semester with a 3.95, which is still really good, but I was aiming for a 4.0. I will do my best to get a 4.0 on my last semester. It doesn't help that the school computer system is messed up, so I can't even go onto PowerSchool and see what my grade is, because it's probably not correct. It's not pressure. It's just that... the best is no longer the best. So I have to try my ultimate best to be the top of my class. I already have a 117% in Geometry because I got extra credit for turning my homework in early for the whole week. That one A- in science last semester in quarter one brought me down. But I'm going to try not to stress out so much on my grades. What difference does .05 of a point make? Besides, I'm going to be taking AP classes throughout my high school years too.

I have a question though, for you guys who are already in high school: Do you have a new GPA every new year, or does it average out after your freshman year? Because I've heard that it's pretty hard to get it up after freshman year. Why is that? O.o

Currently, I've been obsessed with the show The Secret Life of the American Teenager. I'm watching it right now on Netflix and it's so addicting. (Just thought I'd throw that out there.)

Oh, and tomorrow is my mom's birthday.

Yep, not much else happenin'. What have you guys been up to?

Friday, January 21, 2011

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

I WILL vs. I WON'T

Mood:nervous 


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Saturday, January 15, 2011

and so she flies.

She dances circles around the stars. Fire is an ember that burns inside of her. With shards of broken wings she flies with, southward - onward, onward, towards the sun, her home she flies.


Past purple clouds of lullaby she flies through. Until she has no more energy left. Then she hides her wings in the moonlight and makes her way through the woods, where the pieces of her soul are quietly sheltered in a little glass jar. Whispering to the forlorn Sycamore trees, she tells them her secrets. 


It is dark there and cold. She trods barefoot through the dirt. Soft earth meeting her feet like a home. It is dark there, but something glows. Silver and glitter in the distance. Far beyond the horizon - faint jingling of bells.


And then she feels her wings spread. And so she flies.

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Awake


She fears not of falling asleep, but of the nightmare that is still there when she opens her eyes. Reality is all she has known in her dusty little corner. No colour or rainbows. She has never held a doll in her hands or had a beautiful dress in which she danced in.


Voices are what commands her. They beckon to her, telling her to do things. Things that she does not want to do. But she cannot refuse, because if she does she will surely die.


She once had dreams. Stolen dreams that are now but distant memories. She wanted to be a ballerina, she remembers. One that is like a swan, so beautiful and graceful. Now she only dreams of escaping the hellhole she knows as home.


Bags. Bags of what little belongings she has left. She fills them with pieces of her - broken pieces, and then lifts the window latch until she is no longer dreaming, walking towards the direction that will lead her away from her nightmare, until she finds her heart.

Saturday, January 8, 2011

The Truth About Innocence

Mood:inspired

(please follow my photography blog?)

Purple and blue, they cover his skin in splotchy, broken patches. Hands that seem old and withered for someone so young. He should not feel this deep piercing in his lungs. He should not have to cower behind the door, hiding his face, his eyes constantly falling to the floor in the man’s presence.


Tall, dark, a ferocity and evil in the man’s eyes that he didn’t recognise or conceive of, but knew all too well because he’s had to live with it all his life. Breath that smelled of smoke and alcohol.


His innocence was lost at such a young age. Every time he closed his eyes, he could only see that one picture - burned into his mind like hot iron. Every time he closed his eyes, he relived that horrible, atrocious moment. That single act of monstrosity that now lurked inside his every glance.

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

The Abnormality of Normalcy

Mood:blarrgh. 


[Just a random picture of a chocolate frog, because chocolate frogs are wicked.]


I have blogged about this before in some previous posts, but I'm going to talk about it again, just to vent and I need you guys to help me with this, okay? Okay. Here's the thing: I have come to the conclusion that I am - slightly, slightly introverted. Or rather, shy.  


Why, I don't know. Thing is, around my friends or people who I'm used to, I am not shy at all. Rather, I am quite the talkative person. But people who ask me, "Why are you so quiet?" or say to me, "You never talk," are usually the people who I won't ever be talkative around or talk to because those are the people who make me uncomfortable. 


I don't talk to you either because 1) I DO NOT LIKE YOU, 2) I don't know you that well; therefore, I'm not comfortable around you yet, or 3) The most likely reason, I don't know what to say to you when you are talking, seeing as how I'm a horrible conversationalist. I really am. Sometimes someone would say something to me, to try to talk to me and I would just find myself just nodding slowly, comprehending what they said with a look on my face that reads, "Mhmm....yeahh, good for you," because I don't know what else to talk about with them. I don't know what to talk about to a person who I don't hang around, who I don't know if I have anything in common with.


Some of my friends admitted that when they first met me, I would just not talk, but they didn't prod me like some people and question why. They talked more and more to me and got to know me. And some of them are the best, closest, and amazing people who I've ever met. And I love them for breaking down my wall.


Funny thing is, all of my friends are LOUD and crazy (I'll admit the crazy part - I love being crazy.) They broke me out of my shell, and still are. I just guess two shy people are hard to become friends with if they're both shy. Haha.


With my friends, I can never run out of things to talk about. We talk about nothing and everything; the most randomest things that pop into our minds. With others, I don't know, I just can't do that.


I guess I just suck at making conversation.


Help me, you guys? Please? :)

Monday, January 3, 2011

Who You Are

Mood:musical


After a day full of getting compliments on my new hair, before 6th hour a friend said to me bluntly, “I don’t like it. It’s not you.” Now, mind you, she is a very honest and blunt person. Extreme. She either likes you or hates you, she either likes something or hates something. (But that’s why I love her.)

But afterwards, I thought about what she said. Not me? How does she know what’s me and what’s not when I’m still discovering who I am as a person?

Who are you is not defined by what you wear or how you look. Who you are is constantly changing. Who you are is defined by the choices you make each day and your interests, by doing what you want to do.

That, is who you are.

So leave a comment below that would describe you in a single sentence.

Sunday, January 2, 2011

Tumblr and How It Ruined the Concept of Blogging (and other some stuff irrelevant to anything)

Mood:not sure

And admittedly, I have one. What I don't get, though, is how reblogging other people's photos and posting photos of yourself up can be considered blogging. There are exceptions of course. Traditional bloggers do that, and more: they talk about music if they have a music blog, they talk about their own life, their interests and etc. But when people are just getting tumblrs because it's the new "thing", and then just go on there and reblog other people's photos and be all like, "Hey! I'm a blogger. Check me out", I don't know why... it just frustrates me.

People frustrate me. Specifically people who do things just because other people are doing it, or because something is "in" and "cool" and they have to do that or have one too because they want to be cool. They may not even realise that they're doing that, but, I don't know - people who go with pop culture and what's currently "in" just bothers me.

Why not do something else for once? Be unique? Stand out from all the clones in the world?

Be yourself and do what you want?


----------other stuff irrelevant to anything-----x


Today is the last day before we go back to school. School. I think I hate that word. I hate how it sounds. I hate having the feeling of going back and worry about the pressure of keeping my grades at a perfect 4.0, homework, midterms and people who I don't like. Now starting tomorrow, it will be back to waking up everyday at 6:00am. 


I told myself that I was going to take advantage of going to sleep early, because with so much homework, I always end of going to bed at 11ish. It's absurd that my teachers give us so much homework. The stress mainly comes from history where our teacher gives us packets and packets of homework each week full of stuff that she doesn't even go over. See, if she actually taught the stuff to us then we wouldn't need to have so much homework. That's the problem. She doesn't teach us stuff. She just gives us work, tell us what we already know, and expects us to finish it. It's neck-breaking. Add geometry homework. Yeah. 


But it's a new year and I am going to remain positive. Try not to stress out and worry about every tiny thing. Especially grades. Mainly grades.


I've got friends to look forward to and band. ♥


I'll admit that high school is actually pretty fun. The most fun I've had since elementary school. Just minus the homework and it'll be amazing.

Saturday, January 1, 2011

2011 New Year's Resolution

Mood:gleeful



Happy new year!

Last Year's Resolution:
  1. Finish writing my novel, Hope Is the Thing With Feathers
  2. Be more social (well, as social as I can get;D)
  3. Be more kind and courteous toward others 
  4. Be more selfless 
  5. Put others before oneself
  6. Learn at least 10 new things
  7. Be a better daughter, sister, and friend
  8. "To thine own self be true." - Shakespeare (This, I can say, was the highlight of this year. I would strike it through three times if I could!)
  9. Less talking, more doing
  10. Less procrastinating
  11. Be more active and less lazy

As you can see, I haven't completed the list... oh, how surprising! (Sense my sarcasm here, folks?) For #1, I started writing that in the 5th grade... and the reason why it's still not finished may be for a number of reasons: if the plot made any sense and were any good, it would probably be finished by now - it's not. (Every time I try to go back and finish it, I have to redo everything and I finally realized that the plot is crap. I wrote it in 5th grade and though it made complete sense back then, it doesn't now,; high school really sucks a lot of energy out of you. With so much homework, I barely have time to finish all of my homework and go to bed at 10:40. I barely have time to read anymore... yes, it's sad. 


Numbers 4, 5, and 7... I guess it depends on how you perceive it. Others may perceive that I've always been kind towards others, or selfless, and some not. To me, I know I have been less kind since elementary school. Since then, I've been tired of constantly having to be nice to everyone, and too nice. So to some people today, they may still perceive me as being really nice (which, I am, most of the time), but if you're mean or I don't like you, I'm not going to sit down and be nice to to you. That's just fake and I pride myself on being practical and down to earth. To me - I haven't been a better daughter or sister, or put myself before others. I know I haven't. I can be a selfish person and I hate that. I really do. I think we all are selfish people, but some people have a better way of hiding it. To others, I may seem selfish, but sometimes I just feel horrible, because I know I can help out more around the house and be a better sister and daughter. I'm going to change that.  


The last two numbers on the list: self-explanatory. :) 


-------x

My 2011 New Year's Resolution
  1. Continue to get straight A's
  2. Help out more around the house.
  3. Be a better sister, and daughter.
  4. Be less selfish/put others before oneself.
  5. Take risks and have fun!
  6. Try to procrastinate less (...just try.) 
  7. Exercise more, be more active and less lazy! (At least try, Candy.) 
  8. Strive to be the best person that you can be. (and that covers all the fields.)
  9. Learn how to cook... (I know a few things, but....)
May this year bring lots of laughter, smiles, and joy to you and your loved ones.

Signed,
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